Fears

Sometimes life is nothing like you expected it to be. Sometimes your greatest loves can become your worst fears, and your worst fears can become your greatest loves. Sort of like how I used to be terrified of roller coasters, and then I tried one of the big ones, and it was incredible, I was so in love with that thrilling feeling. But most of all, when your worst fears become your reality, that is when life is the hardest.
Sometimes though, your worst fears are good for you. I was so afraid of this illness. Terrified. I was afraid of the changes in my life. I was afraid of chaos and disorder. Everything hits all at once sometimes and it seems more than I can bear. Tonight changed all of that.
We have this family friend, he is a healer. He teaches ways to focus energy, and change bad to good, and let all of the bad energy go back into the Earth, because the Earth can handle it.
Today I had been in so much pain that I could barely move. After I had worked through the energy, there was no pain. Only some soreness. I am learning to feel the energy in my body. I am learning what I can do to relieve stress. With practice, I can help my body get through this much better. I will stop living confined to a bed, too scared to try and get better. I will make this world better and face everything head on.