catching up

I havn't posted in far too long. Catching up is going to take a while. But I have a few things to share. I am back at work! Not full time still, and currently I must admit I am having a hard day. But I should feel better later today, I was expecting today to be hard. But most days, I am at work, for 4 hours or more at a time. A big accomplishment for me. I am even venturing out to have fun outside of my house these days. Shopping trips (not always only to grocery stores! though, being the one to do feed the family of 9, I really do a lott of grocery shopping). I go swimming fairly often. I have taken up yoga, which I am honestly in love with and now can't imagine going a day without because it makes me feel so good. My diet is now well balanced, and I can eat more food. I am off of gluten, and try not to have too much sugar or dairy, but otherwise, my diet is normal. I can even do social eating now! It's pretty wonderful to be able to go to a work meeting and be able to eat with everyone else... even if I'm not eating all of the same things. They were having burgers and chicken sandwiches, and i just had the grilled chicken with lettuce, and some corn chex I had brought to snack on. But the important thing was, I was eating, with friends, and not shying away.
The specialists test results came back. Basically, it said this is something I'll be dealing with for the long haul. But I can overcome it for the most part. I just have to take life a little bit slower than I used to. But through diet and excercize I can life a long, happy, full life. But I cannot let the stress get to me, because thats what ended up bringing me down in the first place. So the next step is therapy, and lots of relaxation and meditation techniques, till I learn to relax and take it easy. Also, I just gotta keep doing what I'm doing, pushing myself a little more each day to be a little better than I was the last.
It has been a fight inside my head, as I realized everything that was happening was strictly anxiety attacks. The gluten was just a trigger. I have to fight the battle thats going on inside of my brain. There is no miracle pill, there is no one magic thing that is going to cure me. Only I can cure me, with a lott of help from Heavenly Father, and my amazing family and friends who have stuck with me. Every day I prove to myself that I can improve. Even if that day is harder, I play the piano, I read, I sew, I sing, I work, I do anything I can to make myself a better person and bring the happiness and light into my life, and everyones life around me. And everyday, that light grows brighter, I get stronger, I understand more. I am ready to take on the challenges I will face at college.
Ok, well that pretty much catches things up till now. I will probably go more in depth about certain things later.